Bushters Dictionary

I am amazed at all of the phrases that Pres. Bush creates. Where does he come up with these? The best part is that, when he finds one he likes, he uses it over, and over, and over, and over, and over and over. Weapons of Mass Destruction. (Anything followed by) evil. (Anything followed by) freedom. His latest comes in his ABC interview while talking about Katrina: Situational Awareness. Apparently this means "what the hell is going on." According to him, the government had no situational awareness following Hurricane Katrina. Thanks for the news flash. In the short 5 minute clip on the ABC website, he mentions situational awareness 4 times, and he doesn't even talk about Katrina the whole time. I realize I'm a tad bit limited in my vocabulary, but I don't go around using a new word in consecutive sentences just to prove I learned one. He's like a young boy who discovered his penis: Can't let it go for fear he'll forget about it and lose it. Don't worry Pres. Bush. VP Cheney will hold onto it for you, unless he shoots it first.

Dick's Got Nothing On Chuck

Some of you may have heard about all of the Chuck Norris maniathat is sweeping the nation. However, due to his recent shooting spree, Dick Cheney is slowly catching up. Here's 10 Ways Dick Cheney can kill you brought to you by the Grumpy Old Cripple via the Feedlot.

Just a Few of My Favorite Things

You may have noticed I added a couple TV show websites to the links column. I recently became hooked on The Office. Seinfeldish exaggerated humor. I usually shed a tear every week. Or pee my pants. Also, I've been an Amazing Race apologist since the beginning. Some series have been better than others, but it's still the only reality show I watch. It's cool to see different parts of the world that I will never be able to visit. Enjoy.

Public Enemy Wanna-Be

My love of the M-F Empire and dr. deegan are well documented on this page. There is another wanna-be player in this game. She's like the kid on the side of playground jumping up and down to be picked. Meet Sen. Abbie Cornett. Last year, she tried to be sneaky and slide in a bill to steal two Papio schools for Bellevue. Now, she's trying to write school curriculum. She wants to make sure that students get to see original historical documents and teach more Americanism. Since when is Americanism a class? It's a state of mind. You don't teach someone how to act out of book. I don't take classes on how to be polite to others. You do it by showing, not telling. If you have to have a class on how to be an American, then you need to take a look at yourself.
Secondly, where do you get off thinking you can start writing curriculum? You are a senator, not a teacher. Maybe you were before you started this illustrious career of yours, but those days are over. Nobody who spends their days outside of a school should be allowed to say what goes on inside of a school. I don't tell you how to spend your day, so don't tell me how to spend mine. If teachers are such great role models, won't they be teaching Americanism every day from K-12?
Maybe we need to give state senators coloring books so they aren't so bored. Whenever they are bored, they decide they need to stick their noses in someone else's business. Leave us alone!

My Upcoming Fiscal Budget

I've decided to release my budget for the upcoming fiscal year, just as Pres. Bush did today.
I'm going to cut my car payment spending. But I am going to borrow money from the people who I pay my cell bill to so that I can increase my alcohol budget. A portion of the money that used to go to the dentist and optometrist will now be forwarded to those people who have convinced me to renew my Rolling Stone subscription. The doctors will have to either do more fundraising or cut their spending. I figure my teeth are "jacked up" (as the kids like to say) and not able to be fixed, so screw it. I will, however, be investing more money into my iPod because I like that and it brings me enjoyment. The money from that will be taken from both my electric company and the city because that stuff, again, isn't really necessary. Spending will also increase in the area of coffee and cereal, because there is no better way to start your day. I will also not be giving as much money to unnecessary efforts such as the Salvation Army and the Red Cross because I have money and will not be affected by a hurricane, so what good are they to me? It doesn't matter all of the other people they help. They don't pay me, so why should I help them?
The largest increase will go to my wife, because, as well all know, we wouldn't be safe if not for her. This budget will be approved by my loan officer, because we know that money grows on trees, and if the tree runs out of leaves, we'll just progress to another forest.

No More Dam Plan

An update of a previous post, the committee that reviewed the plan to dam the Platte River and force the town of Ashland to move has beentrashed by a 6-0 vote. The only hope for the bill is if Sen. Brown can convince 30 senators to take it out of committee. Highly doubtful if it was unanimous "Hell no" by the committee members.

Commercial Wrap-Up

If you were like me, you didn't realize that the Super Bowl started at 5:30 (I only missed the 1st Quarter), and really, you didn't care, except for the 1st Quarter commercials. Obviously, the best come first because you never know when the game is going to suck (like, say, last night's game?). So ESPN has a link so that you can watch the majority of them. Some are pretty funny, some aren't. Enjoy!